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Life

There are Great things that a person can stumble into and realize only after you have lost it how great it is.

I have missed having that person that loves me even when she is mad at me... Understands me with a freaking look or a giggle. Gets my shit and loves my quirks...

Friendships keep you sane.

My Nanna used to say that Friends are like gardens and you have to tend to them.

So I put it to you... Have you watered your friend today?
~I, with a deeper instinct, choose a man who compels my strength, who makes enormous demands on me, who does not doubt my courage or my toughness, who does not believe me naive or innocent, who has the courage to treat me like a woman. Anais Nin ~

Dec. 11th, 2009

There is a ton of crap that runs through my head on a moment by moment pace. .. If you are a goo friend you are running around in there with the randomness with a butterfly net yellin YEHAWW!.. If you are a strong man you be able to sit back and enjoy the show.

Was creating something silly for a rant post, this list if you will. Funny craps but too long for this journal... A short snipit of it...


"Thinks of porn as couples sex therapy, not 'alone time'

Knows that family is more than just the people you are traumatized by

Friends are important to my sanity, and your quality of life!

Heads this warning ~ Changing me can be done, but you run the risk of mutilation

Knows that the bathroom is more like a conference room than a library

Knows animals are tasty, but vegetables are not to be feared

Black is not depressing, and Goth is just a label

Understands the physics of movie time gummy bear catapults

Knows that my mind is a wonderland of randomness, but is willing to over look it

Rock is a genre, not just your pet (his name is Toby)

Understands that your turn signal is not a FUCKING SUGGESTION

Chocolate is good, Sex is great, a foot rub and UT rocks my world

Knows what the hell I mean by UT, there is only 1

Can handle it when I out frag your ass

Knows his mind, or at the very least admit I do

Is aware that among all the voices in his head, mine is the only one that matters"


let me kow what you think
~I, with a deeper instinct, choose a man who compels my strength, who makes enormous demands on me, who does not doubt my courage or my toughness, who does not believe me naive or innocent, who has the courage to treat me like a woman. Anais Nin ~

Soo I have been on the go..

Meeting people from my server, and reconnecting with old friends. The more I grow the more i realize that I get to make my own family. These are the people you invite into your life to share your time and interests.


Jason and I in Sedro-Wolley Washington

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Josh and I in Ogden Utah.
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~I, with a deeper instinct, choose a man who compels my strength, who makes enormous demands on me, who does not doubt my courage or my toughness, who does not believe me naive or innocent, who has the courage to treat me like a woman. Anais Nin ~

Weeeelll hellooo...

Holy crap the last 4 years have been insane.


I have shared love with many people. Been in love with a few.

Only one has my heart. I love you more, and you know it. ;-P
~I, with a deeper instinct, choose a man who compels my strength, who makes enormous demands on me, who does not doubt my courage or my toughness, who does not believe me naive or innocent, who has the courage to treat me like a woman. Anais Nin ~

Concert

Alright.. I am sorry these took so long.. The concert was wicked. Down in the pit and loud as hell!

David was behind be all evening, holding on tight so we did not get separated. Here are a few snap shots we took.


~I, with a deeper instinct, choose a man who compels my strength, who makes enormous demands on me, who does not doubt my courage or my toughness, who does not believe me naive or innocent, who has the courage to treat me like a woman. Anais Nin ~

Iron Maiden On Tour 2008..

HELL YES!

Happy birthday to me!

David bought us tickets to the Iron Maiden tonight! I will try to get a pic of us there in our Maiden wear to post! I am so freaking stoked!!
Concert #3 for us!

Thank you Scunci my luv for the sweet gift.
~I, with a deeper instinct, choose a man who compels my strength, who makes enormous demands on me, who does not doubt my courage or my toughness, who does not believe me naive or innocent, who has the courage to treat me like a woman. Anais Nin ~

Still.. Really? Ex's need to read.

The most frustrating conversation between me and my EX the past 2 days. SO I was inspired to let it all hang out. Generally I edit what I say here to not offend anyone.. Well enough of that shit. So EX’s, Read closely.

“Love is patient; love is kind and envies no one. Love is never boastful, nor conceited, nor rude; never selfish, not quick to take offense. There is nothing love cannot face; there is no limit to its faith, its hope, and endurance.
In a word, there are three things that last forever: faith, hope, and love; but the greatest of them all is love.”

Listen to me now, this is simple. Regardless of how we broke up, we did. And no matter what happened or how close we were/are. You can not tell me that you love me and want what is best for me and in the same breath tell me you do not want to hear about how happy I am with another person. There is no friendship here if I can not share my life with you and you can not respect the relationship I am in.

I am not claiming it is easy. I know damn well it is not. But really.
Is your love for me so shallow and selfish as to think only of you? We have both taken into account our ex’s by refraining from loud declarations of our love. Neither of us wanted to be hurtful or disrespectful of what we shared with people in our past. But for gods sake, enough already. It has been over half a year from the end of our previous relationships, and we still can not tell you how great life our lives together are? Will we ever be able to?

You have been with other people, and for some reason that was fine. But the idea of me with another creates friction? Please! Get over yourself. Things between us did not work out. It was not meant to be the kind of relationship that spans the test of time, clearly. 

David and I are happy, growing closer each day. We have a great friendship. We get along wonderfully. We are letting the love grow. We do not fight, when we bicker is is short lived and always ends in kisses and understanding. We can agree to disagree on the little things, we agree on the big stuff. He is here in my everyday loving me and there for me. As I am for him. This is a bond that can survive the test of time and space. We are forced apart for my work, but that is only in locations. We talk everyday, we miss each other with that wonderful aching feeling that tells you this is love. We come together every chance we get, at the very least weekends. We can not stay away from each other, and do not want to. We moved to another state to be with each other. This is love and I am going to give it my everything. David has committed to the same.

This is a wonderful thing and should be celebrated. If you have real love and caring for me, then you will find room in your mind for happiness for us. If you can not then you should walk away with the knowledge that what you feel/felt was not love but is the lingering notion of ownership for something that was never yours to begin with. Love comes to you with the best of intentions, but every relationship is just training for the heart. Lessons to teach it what it needs to know to make the one love you end up spending your life with last.  Remember the good and be thankful for what you felt when you felt it. Then open your eyes to see that you don’t have it for a reason. Take responsibility for your part in it and try to be happy for David and I. 

Those lessons of love teach you how to make your fairytale come true. I am working on mine. Be happy for us. Or let us be.

Here is a pic of the happy couple... When we moved out of our old apartment. All packed up and ready for our future, where ever it takes us.


~I, with a deeper instinct, choose a man who compels my strength, who makes enormous demands on me, who does not doubt my courage or my toughness, who does not believe me naive or innocent, who has the courage to treat me like a woman. Anais Nin ~

Sat...

So 05-17 is usually a hard day for me... But this one was a great day. David did a great job of keeping a smile on my face, and taking care of me. We saw Kat and things are well.. Played at the beach for hours. At some point decided that we needed a fire as we cuddled in the back of my Jeep watching the waves. We saw some people leave their campfire... just left it burning (assmunches) so we took over.. ran around giggling in the dark looking for stones and wood. Here is the view we enjoyed together, was a wonderful day with a wonderful man! Thank you Scunci my sweet!

~I, with a deeper instinct, choose a man who compels my strength, who makes enormous demands on me, who does not doubt my courage or my toughness, who does not believe me naive or innocent, who has the courage to treat me like a woman. Anais Nin ~

Beach fun!

YAY!

My friend’s restaurant made it one year! GRATS KAT!!!

David and I are going to help her celebrate!! Will be AFC for a few days.. but I promise to post pictures when we return! Hoping for a day or two of good weather, we want to play a bit ;P .. *giggles*

Have a great weekend! I plan to!

 
~I, with a deeper instinct, choose a man who compels my strength, who makes enormous demands on me, who does not doubt my courage or my toughness, who does not believe me naive or innocent, who has the courage to treat me like a woman. Anais Nin ~

Grateful

Life, I think, is a long set of lessons to learn. Some hard, some easy, but all of them making an impact on who we end up as. Every friendship has value, knowledge, emotion, and frustrations. Things start and things end, this is how it has been and how it will be. Every relationship will teach us something about ourselves and something about emotion. What we choose to hold on to is entirely up to us.

What we need to remember is that it is only ourselves that we have to blame for how we handle what life hurls at us. We take from it what we choose to. The good for what it is, or muddled with regret and pain. Pain teaches us that we are alive, that we have opened up and allowed ourselves to be touched by those we let in. Hurting doe not mean that we should not let ourselves care for anyone again; it means that we did actually care.

So here it is. If you are reading me here, I thank you for being in my life, for helping shape me. Weather your contribution was direct or indirect. Thank you for the lessons that prepared me for who I am and who I am with. Thank you for the experiences that made me the woman he loves. Thank you for the experiences he has shared that make him the man I love. Thank you for pointing out once again that no matter how much it hurts, there is always a new day. Thank you for the knowledge that for every pain and sadness there is an equal love and joy. 

Thank you for my David. He is the reward in my life for all the hard lessons. A wonderful man who can love me for all of my strengths and all of my weaknesses (I admit to nothing!) ;P

I love you Scunci. Thank you for seeing me for me, and loving me anyway ;P Thank you for following your heart to me. Thank you for being so very wonderfully you.

I am grateful for the wisdom earned to see the good in what I have, and what I have had.

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~I, with a deeper instinct, choose a man who compels my strength, who makes enormous demands on me, who does not doubt my courage or my toughness, who does not believe me naive or innocent, who has the courage to treat me like a woman. Anais Nin ~